Open wide!

posted on 9 Dec 2011 in Adult Engrish

“No, it’s not a pickup line! I really am the custodian of all babe’s hearts!”

From a hospital in China.

17 captions

  1. faulty wiring | 4:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 4  

    Dammit! I knew I'd taken a wrong turn! Now I'll never find the cock and balls examination area

  2. DrLex | 4:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 0  

    All fetuses who fail the cunt exam will have their hearts jailed!

  3. faulty wiring | 4:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 5  

    Pat Robertson / Simon Cowell / Kyle Sandilands / Piers Akerman enter here

  4. FatKenney | 7:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    My lawyer says I still get them on weekends.

  5. Jj Hitt | 7:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 17  Subtract rating 1  

    "Calling Doctor Wang…"

  6. FatKenney | 7:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 24  Subtract rating 0  

    The signmaker isn't real good with medical terms. He also refers to mammography as "titty pics" and the Proctology dept. as "a**hole inspection".

  7. Dan Langevin | 8:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    Please, keep your pants on ma'am. We call it that because the nurse is a total twat.

  8. Hugh | 3:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    The Observation Room is for those who like to watch.

  9. Chuck | 8:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    ObGyn – Oh boy, Got you naked !

  10. sparky | 9:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Non-cunts just leave your phone number at the front desk and you’ll receive a call from the that’s it.

  11. sparky | 11:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 8  

    i just have to use this one!
    A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a therapist. Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well known Chinese sex therapist. So she went to see him.

    Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang aid, “OK, take off your crose.” The woman did as she was told. “Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room.” Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, “OK, now craw reery, reery fast back to me.” So she did.

    Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, “Your probrem vewy bad, you haf, ‘Ed Zachary’ Disease, worse case I ever see, dat why you not haf sex or dates.”

    Confused, the woman asked, “Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?” Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied, “Ed Zachary disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass.”

  12. Charlie | 3:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 1  

    The Observation Room is directly connected to the Cunt Examination Room.

  13. Huggzie | 7:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 2  

    – OK Miss… now I need to examine your cunt… … … please proceed to the Fecal Heart Custory room!

  14. Biff the Understudy | 10:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    “An official close to the investigation, who declined to be named in this report, indicated that the fetal heart was taken into custody for further questioning. This is KUNT nightly news; your weekend weather update after the break.”

  15. Bri | 7:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 1  

    They don’t beat around the bush!

  16. Mr. Wrong | 5:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    This is taking plain-language signage too far.

  17. zankahanversac | 8:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    A young woman walks into the doctors rooms…
    “what seems to be the problem” the doctor says…
    “well, I don’t have any pubic hair” the young lady states rather shamefully.
    “no problem at all” replies the doctor who proceeds to a refrigerator and withdraws a jar containing a blackish fluid.
    He instructs the patient to remove her nickers, picks up a paint brush, and proceeds to paint the liquid on one side only of the hairless area. He advises that she is to return in one week.
    one week later she returns stating ” It’s a miracle doctor!!!! I have pubic hair, but on one side only!!!!”
    The Doctor proceeds to the fridge and withdrawing a jar full of blackish fluid proceeds to paint the other side.
    One week later the young woman returns “It’s a miracle doctor, I now have an abundance of pubic hair, but what was the liquid you applied?”
    “Well the first was Coca Cola, the second was Pepsi Cola”
    The young lady shook her head in disbelief “Doctor I don’t understand….”
    “well it goes to prove that no cunt can tell the difference”

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